who i was supposed to be

holler if you hear me….

some days i sit at my desk and look out the window and think about all the people i want to be at once.

i want to be the uber-hipster-vegan-punk rocker who lives out of a tent and leaves no carbon footprint. i also have a vast collection of vinyl and classic sound systems that have far too many wires for my liking. i backpack, i couch surf, i make little noise.

You can find my dream desk at Crate and Barrel

i want to be the photographer who marauds with other photographers in packs of bicycles. we’ll smoke weed, drink 40s and capture the imperfect world through the dreaminess of our interchangeable lenses. for my day job i work as an industrial designer, my office an exquisite arrangement of minimalism. i am an intensely good cook.

i want to be a spoiled brat of a human being. i don’t have wants. my only need is to attend fabulous parties with fabulous people and propogate the planet with other fabulous beings. i don’t believe in generic. my favorite word is “luxury.”

i want to be the balls-to-the-wall journalist. i live on coffee and in a newsroom. i have a stack of clean shirts in the bottom drawer of my desk and i will drop everything for the sake of breaking news. i stay up late. i get up early. my entire social life outside the newsroom has gone to shit. but what i contribute changes you. my blood is made up of 97 percent coffee.

i want to devote my entire life to helping others. i want to speak different languages. i want to bring people together, solve the problems of their lives and help them become someone they never thought they could be. i want to be in an endless cycle of travel and giving. i do not own a home. i have very little. but my heart is so full.

i want to be forgotten. i want to move somewhere by a beach (facing west) and rock climb, surf, meditate and breathe. i motivate others to conserve their resources and learn to understand how living effects the planet. i ask for little and i receive little. i am content.

in a perfect world, i am a combination of all these people. in my present world, i am. what remains to be seen is how these people are reconciled and renegotiated as i grow. move out of my parents’ house. change jobs. save and spend money. get older. get wiser (?). know less and wonder more.

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