Today was a challenging day. For some reason I didn’t think something called “Warrior Dash” would be out in the middle of nowhere, and if it were, certainly not surrounded by hay.
Boy, was I wrong. And boy, did those histamines kick my ass. So, while I walked most of that (measly) 5k, I am proud to say that I did get myself through ALL of the obstacles (nets, hills, trenches, barbed wire mud pits, fire, etc.) and I couldn’t have done it without my team mate, ErnieAndbert. Around the time where I was feeling particularly inadequate because my lungs were boycotting all the dust in the air most fervently, we got to the wall climb. Of all the obstacles I knew this one would be the most difficult for me ahead of time. She was walking beside me when I said “yeah, that’s not happening.”And she said to just try it for her.
I’m so used to doing everything myself. From the basics of balancing a budget, doing the dishes, getting groceries and petting the cat, to the more complicated things like pushing past mile 10, doing my job well and figuring out how to make this place my home. So when I come up against a challenge I don’t think I can work through physically, I’m not used to having a team mate standing by my side to push me forward. I’m not used to having someone right next to me (because my support team is cast wide across this world) keeping me accountable for every step.
And I took hold of the rope and climbed over the wall to the other side.
Feeling like I’m impervious and unshakable and completely in control are as much a part of me as my eyes, ears and history. And lately I’ve been struggling with feeling like I can do it all at all times with all things. What today’s wall climb proved to me wasn’t just that I could do it, but that no person is an island. Sometimes the risk is too great. Sometimes the side effects are just too much. And sometimes the wall is too high. At some point we have to admit that we’re not the person we imagine ourselves to be all the time and do require a helping hand now and then to get us over the wall. And it’s in that admittance to the people around us that not only reveal our commonality, but also give us the space to grow and change.
I’m thankful that ErnieAndbert was there to push me past my comfort zone because now I know what’s on the other side: nothing but obstacles and miles between. But it’s the company you keep that makes the journey colorful and the rewards so much sweeter.