Who Says

For the first time in ages I’m enjoying a leisurely breakfast in this delightful silk caftan and looking out at silvery Lake Michigan. I feel like it’s been a continual roller coaster of weekend trips, brunches, plans, and other things getting in the way of this ritual I started with myself when I came here.

Following this ritual of writing, I’ll take my legs out for a spin and see what this unseasonably warm day has to offer. It’s about 50 on December 2. And you say there’s no such thing as global warming… Evenso, I’m thankful for the weather and the delay in chapped lips and itchy skin for at least another day.

Another being to spend time reading in public places so, last night I took myself out for a little shopping (I wanted everything in Anthropologie, and I left it all there) and dessert before dinner. This particular coffee nook I had been to with Miss Arizona last March, and especially when decked out in holiday fanfare, this wooden study of a coffee house felt more and more homey.

When I’m on the bus back to my apartment, I’ve recently started feeling like I belong here. Not forever, but Milwaukee has finally become a home for me. I know where the roads go, I know where to have a good time and still explore the city and I’ve made some great friends and connections here that make me feel like I don’t have to go it alone all day, every single day.

I noticed a little while back how my key feels in the lock of my door. It feels like a sigh of relief. And knowing Louie will always run to the door to greet me is enough in the absence of a hug. And while that quota has continued to plummet since I took up a solo residence, I’d say I’ve learned a few milestone lessons in return.

I’ve learned that you have to be your own lifeline. If someone else does it for you that’s a luxury, but at the end of the day it’s just you, you, you. I’ve learned that the relationship you have with your body defines your relationship with the world. If you treat it with respect, teach it new things and push it to it’s edge, there’s only opportunity for growth and change. I’ve learned that sometimes you have to romance yourself and sometimes you just have to bust a move. I’ve learned to be honest with everyone at all times. Especially your friends, because they don’t have all the backstory your family does…yet.

Everyday when I wake up and greet the sun these things come to mind. As does what the day will bring. And I think it’s this curiosity and determination to remain plugged into this lifetime that makes every day a real slice.

I’ve renewed my lease for the coming year.

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